Ninja's in Space!
by Dashed
Summary: Ino is an alien that needs a human mate. Sakura is the ships doctor that wants nothing to do with Ino or her antenna. With a whole ship full of crazy humans will Ino ever get rid of her antenna? Ino/Sakura, others. RomCom.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This was all because Kirbygirl13 told me that not only was the idea of a Sakura/Ino fanfic in space stupid but pulled out of my ass. I'll show you! help me show her by reviewing and flaming the life out of her! Besides i wanted to write something light after Gone Tomorrow and Live the wrong life.

XxXx

"Could she rip off that old tv show anymore?!" Temari ragged stalking down the sterile grey corridors of the ship. She was looking at her red vest in disgust as her shapeless black slacks sat squarely on her figure.

Sakura laughed as she didn't really mind her own green and black doctors uniform. "It could be worse she could have called the ship the Enterprise."

Temari glared at her fiercely as they entered the lift. "Please state the floor you wish to travel too," the impersonal female computer voice said. "That's the first thing to go," Termari glowered.

"That is not a recognised floor, please state the floor you wish to travel too," the computer voice said again.

"The bridge," Sakura grinned enjoying Temari's smouldering fury. The lift moved silently only the glowing numbers that lit up as they passed the floor gave them indication of movement. The doors whoosed open and they stepped out onto the bridge.

The two tiered deck was almost exclusively grey broken only by the black consoles and the red vested crew. In the centre of it all Tsunade sat on a mini throne gazing smugly out at space. Beside her stood her first officer Shizune wearing a glowing ball around her neck. It was a pulsing pink colour telling everyone that Shizune was already annoyed with the captain.

"Tsunade!" Temari raged stalking onto the bridge "what the hell do you think you're doing about these uniforms?!"

"Cool aren't they?" Tsunade said barely looking at Temari.

"They're ugly! And take away my curves!" Termari yelled making the crew on the bridge stop working to stare at her curiously.

"They help the crew feel united and disciplined," Tsunade said reasonably. She quite liked her uniform plus the additional gold weaving and tassels on her shoulders that she got for being captain.

"We aren't an army!" Temari snapped stalking forwards looking ready to pull the captain out of her chair. Tsunade struck like a snake snatching the blaster from the side of her chair and shooting Temari squarely in the chest. The blonde didn't even have time to scream as she was propelled backwards. Sakura quickly ran to her side but was amazed to find the blonde blinking up at her in shock rather than dead.

Tsudane pushed Sakura out of the way and straddled Temari's chest. "Your daddy might be funding this operation princess but I'm the nut he put in charge. We're going out deep into the black, to hostiles partially known, as far as you are concerned we are an army, we're the only things we got." Tsunade held her down through brute strength "the uniforms are armoured from blasters so the only idiots we have to worry about are our own ninja attacks. Now, the next time you want to make a scene on my bridge you better be planning a mutiny because I'll stuff you out an airlock, got it?"

Temari nodded and Tsunade thrust herself to her feet. "Get off my bridge," she ordered. Temari rose slowly trying to regain her pride before stalking to the elevator. Sakura followed her dumbly.

XxXx

"I had to make sure," Temari side rubbing her hurt elbow as she sat on the medical bed.

"You've heard how crazy captain slugger is and you still did that?" Sakura shook her head as she used her chakra to heal the minor scratch.

"My father is putting a lot of money into this," Temari said thoughtfully "he wants to find Aliens for his new coliseum. But i want to rescue Shikamaru."

"It's been five years," Sakura said softly.

"I know he might be dead," Temari said softly "but i owe it to what we were to at least try."

"Do you still love him?" Sakura asked.

"Can you love someone who isn't there?" Temari asked but then shook her head "whatever feelings i have for him are too faint to call love."

Sakura hugged her friend tightly.

XxXx

"Hinata anything on the scanners yet?" Tsunade asked bored out of her mind.

"No, Tsunade-sama," Hinata sighed wearily at having to answer the same question again.

"Keep looking," Tsunade gave her response as she tapped her fingers on the captains chair boredly. She glanced sideways at Shizune who's ball was glowing white with intense concentration. "What you doing?" She asked just to be annoying.

"I'm going over the known star charts of the region. It should be two weeks until we reach dark space," Shizune said absently. Dead space was just space human's hadn't entered into yet. Their own solar system had found no other intelligent lift forms but a few plants and animal things.

Shizune, Tsudane mused, was the closest thing the ship had to an alien. She came from a small hidden community that used Chakra to force all emotions into the crystal's on their chest where they could then remove the pesky feelings to make logical choices. They where the early stages of Vulcan's Tsudane liked to think but Shizune got really offended. Her eyes slid around the bridge but found everyone working like ants. No one to shout at, she sighed. In her rush to escape the debt collectors she had forgotten how boring space could be.

"Shizune," She said her voice being the verbal poke that she couldn't do physically. "Shizune..."

Shizune's face started twitching with irritation as she knew what Tsunade was trying to do but was ignoring it. "Shizune..." Tsudane whined "Shi-zuuuuunne."

"What?!" The first officer snapped not looking away from the star charts. If she did Tsunade would only win.

"Let's do a strip search of the ensigns," Tsunade suggested.

Shizune's eyes bulged with annoyance at the suggestion but would not turn to gap at Tsunade. "Oh, come on!" Tsunade needled.

"No!" Shizune snapped then jerked as Tsunade began to physically poke her. She stopped suddenly and turned to give the blonde a smug smile. Tsudane thought she had won until Shizune's hand reached around the pink pulsing ball of irritation and took it off her neck. Tsudane's face morphed in outrage "that's not fair! Cheater!"

"We are not playing a game Tsunade," Shizune's voice became more monotone as she placed the ball down beside her. It glowed a multicolour of spectrums as Shizune's face became as impassive as a sheet of ice. In this state it didn't matter what Tsunade said or did it would not annoy Shizune in anyway.

"Aw damn!" She flounced back in her seat glaring at the defeat. Shizune couldn't feel or look smug right now but she would be later.

XxXx

"So Sakura, lets talk about your love life," Temari grinned as they sat down at lunch in the mess hall.

"What love life?" Sakura laughed.

"Exactly," Temari said "are you going to go out with Lee?"

"No!" Sakura screwed her face up at the thought "he's like my brother. Although," she grinned as Temari leaned forward eagerly "they guy he works with, you know the tall dark one? I wouldn't mind being stuck in a Jeffries tube with him."

Temari laughed then the glint grew wicked "I'm sure there's someone else you wouldn't mind be confined with," and she waved her eyebrows knowingly at the doctor who frown in confusion "a certain crazy captain maybe?"

"No!" But she flushed guiltily ruining her denial.

"Teacher student bond gone too far one night?" Temari egged.

"Shut up," Sakura said hiding behind her water glass.

"Like the captains pips do you," Temari leered.

"I wonder when Hinata will make her move on you," Sakura brought out the big guns. Temari's smile fell quickly to Sakura's satisfaction "we're just friends," she defended.

"Yeah, but that's not what she wants is it?" Sakura took her time to enjoy the tables being turned.

"Shut up," Temari muttered.

Most people in the future were bisexual or just extremely horny as Sakura often thought as she walked down the main city street of her home on Friday nights. Gender wasn't a big issue except for the few stubborn people that clung to one or the other.

"SAKURA!"

The doctor braced herself as she was tackled. She managed to stop herself from falling of her chair but just. "Naruto! Get the hell off me!" She raged.

"Aw Sakura, we haven't seen each other in ages!" Naruto whined as Sakura tried to pry him off.

"We saw each other yesterday morning!" Sakura glared at Temari who was laughing and not helping her unstuck the affectionate blonde.

"That was ages ago!" Naruto said finally letting go and pulling up a chair. He smiled widely as he straddled the chair and rested his chin on the back. Kiba came holding Naruto's forgotten tray and behind him Hinata came holding her own tray. She sat down next to Temari and without paying much attention switched the blondes empty glass with a full one. Sakura looked at the glass pointedly but Temari ignored her. "Hinata has been telling us all about the captain but you already knew her didn't you Sakura?"

"Yeah, she used to be a great doctor," Sakura said. It was her turn to ignore pointed looks "I went to train with her for a while on mars."

"Was she also..." Hinata cast around for a nice word to describe the captain not wanting to insult her.

"Crazy?" Sakura suggested and Hinata nodded embarrassed. "Oh, yeah," Sakura confirmed.

"Odd that it was on mars, the red planet, very romantic," Temari said with feigned nonchalance.

"That was Venus idiot," Sakura growled. Temari shrugged unconcerned.

"All hands on deck!" Tsunade's voice yelled over the intercom. "We have identified an unknown object!"

XxXx

"How was i supposed to know?!" Tsunade raged as she undressed.

"Maybe if you didn't get so excited and actually check the sensors you wouldn't panicked the whole ship," Shizune said her crystal pulsing white because she didn't have the energy to get annoyed at the captains foolishness.

"Well at least we've managed to rescue a piece of history," Tsunade said.

"Old Tv satellites are worthless," Shizune said rolling her eyes.

Tsunade glowered and shoved her trousers down around her ankles before stepping out of them and unclipping her bra. She turned sharply and Shizune froze in mid sentence. Her pearls flared a bight yellow as a flush crawled up her neck.

"Don't think i'm going to," Shizune took a deep breath as she tried to concentrate. "To, stop mocking you just because, because, you, ah..."

Tsunade had sat on the bed with her knees pressed primly together but her back arched as she lent back on her arms. "Sorry what was that?" She asked coyly.

"Oh, shut up," Shizune muttered with genuine hatred as she hurried to the bed.

Tsunade didn't bother to hide her smug smile. This was why she was the captain after all.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N; I'm very happy with the positive response I've been getting. I thought the space story would just highlight how much of a geek I am but I'm glad other people are enjoying it as well. Oh yeah, Kirbygirl wants me to say that she is not a bitch and she likes the fic. See how some good natured bullying can change opinions? Thanks everyone!

XxXx

"C-can I give you a hand?" Hinata asked as Temari poked around in the storage room.

"Shit!" Temari jumped and glared at the other woman "what the hell are you doing down here!?"

"I could ask you the same," Hinata raised her eyebrow at Temari's tone.

"I left some personal items in here," Temari said as she tried to lift a crate twice her size down from a shelf. Hinata moved quickly to stop the box from flattening the blonde. "Thanks," Temari grunted as they wrestled the heavy box to the ground.

"What are do those personal items look like?" Hinata asked as she stood on the crate and used it to see what was on the shelf.

"It's just a box of crap that I didn't want to go through security," Temari explained then frowned at Hinata's startled look "don't make that face! It's just some embarrassing baby crap that I didn't want Kankuro or Gaara to find out that I took with me."

"They don't work on security," Hinata said still puzzled.

"No, but that blabber mouth Naruto does and if he saw these he would of course tell them," Temari growled.

Hinata nodded smiling softly as she did have a point. "What kind of crate is it in?"

"It's red," Temari said taking the boxes Hinata handed her and putting them to the side.

"Oh I think I got it!" Hinata said as she heaved herself up. The box was at the very back of the shelf so she had to bend to get it.

Temari put a hand up to steady her. Hinata shot up in shock and hit her head on the third shelf. She slid backwards, her fall softened by landing directly on top of Temari. Hinata was still dazed from the blow to her head and didn't resist as Temari pushed her up into a sitting position. "What was that about?" The blonde asked annoyed rubbing her back.

"You put your hand on my behi-" Hinata started but broke off with a cough and a blush. She lowered her voice from the nearly hysterical squeal "I mean, well you probably didn't realise where your hand was...oh look here's your box!" Hinata shoved the container at Temari and quickly ran out of the room.

Temari watched her shaking her head "I swear people just get weird in space."

XxXx

"People are weird," Sakura watched as an ensign hobble out of the medical bay. Why he thought eating an entire can of expired yogurt would cure his minor cold she didn't know.

"I'll second that chibi-doc," Tsunade said striding into the bay with a grin. She hopped up onto the bio bed uncaring that she had just parked her ass on millions of credits worth of life saving technology.

"Sensei, er, I mean captain," Sakura smiled and nervously packed away equipment.

"Got all these fancy demo-things and nano-whatsy," Tsunade said picking up instruments at random. "Beats that back water shack on Mars, huh?"

Sakura just smiled "you gave me a lot of knowledge that I couldn't have done without."

"And you damn well remember that," Tsunade nodded reaching over to ruffle Sakura's hair. Sakura ducked away, she was not a child. "Now how about you show me what some of this high tech crap does?" She held up a device and eyed it critically "This just looks strange?"

Sakura looked at her with a raised eyebrow "captain, that's my lunch…"

XxXx

Shizune sat in the Captain's chair and shifted uncomfortable. It was not the weight of responsibility that made her feel awkward but the butt groove that Tsunade welding into place on her throne. The captain's big ass dwarfed her own making her sink into the cushion. She looked about the room to distract herself. "Anything on sensors?"

"No sir," Hinata said then frowned as she looked up. "Ah, sir?"

"Yes?" Shizune said.

"There's a floating blonde on our windscreen," Hinata pointed to the window where a blonde in a sliver space suit was pressed up against the glass like a kid in an aquarium. Seeing that she was being observed the blonde waved excitedly.

Hinata raised her hand tentatively to wave back but snatched it down when Shizune glared at her. The blonde breathed on the screen then used her fingers to scrawl figures. Shizune's head tilted to the side and she cautiously opened the com system. "Security on standby, Captain we have a visitor," she closed the com and turned to the science officer on board "how did she get passed our shields?"

"Were the shields supposed to be on?" The officer said confused.

"Oh, lord," Shizune pinched the bridge of her nose as the ball flared pink. The blonde alien seeing the flashing ball give Shizune the thumbs up for her fashion choice. Shizune smiled back uncertainly. "Does anyone read alien?" Shizune asked in the off chance as she studied the scrawled drawings.

"Doesn't it look like...?" Hinata started but her suggestion was too silly so she didn't have the confidence to continue.

"Like a McDonalds M?" Temari said tilting her head to the side. "And isn't that kinda like a clown?"

"We have not flown half way across the galaxy to meet an alien that hails from Mcplanet!" Shizune growled "whatever those signs are it's not fast food related."

"I don't know," Tsunade said appearing on the bridge with Sakura behind her "we could try it. Chibi-doc go replicate a happy meal."

Sakura did so and gave the box to Tsunade who hid it behind her back. She approached the floating alien and held up the box. The alien nodded enthusiastically with a wide smile. The entire bridge laughed while Shizune sulked in the captain's chair. Tsunade grinned back at her.

The laughter was cut short as the alien pressed a picture against the glass. Shikamaru and Temari stared back at them from the frame.

XxXx

"He loved McDonalds," Temari said softly to Sakura as she sat in her darkened room. Shikamaru loved anything that didn't involve him cooking.

Sakura didn't know what to do or say so placed her hand on Temari's shoulder in a solid show of support. Temari smile absently not really feeling anything. "The scientists are working on a way to create a meeting place for us and the alien. We'll be able to know more after that."

"I guess," Temari sighed.

"The alien looked very normal, didn't she?" Sakura said to try and get Temari's mind off Shikamaru "no tentacles or anything."

"None that we could see anyway," Temari grinned showing a bit of her old fire.

Sakura laughed "she looked cute."

"Was it the tight silver body suit?" Temari laughed then ruffled Sakura's hair.

"Stop doing that!" Sakura said more sharply than she intended. Her face softened "sorry, but Tsunade does that all the time and it's like she see me as a kid..."

"Oh," Temari said knowingly.

"Don't 'oh' me!" Sakura said shoving Temari lightly.

"Don't shove me!" Temari pushed Sakura off the couch.

Sakura narrowed her eyes and pounced on the blonde. "I didn't get to be on the security staff for my amazing ass!" Temari growled turning to pin Sakura down. She stopped in realisation "oh, ass, I grabbed Hinata's a-whoa!"

Sakura flipped her over and laughed in triumph.

XxXx

The alien floated in to the docking bay and settled gently beside one of the shuttles. The captain came out flanked by Shizune and Temari in space suits. Tsunade held up her hand in greeting and the alien tilted her head to one side.

"Do. You. Speak. Earthling?" Tsunade said slowly and loudly.

Shizune glared at her "I don't know how someone hasn't shot you. How I haven't shot you."

"Yes, the lazy one taught me how," the alien said without accent. "I can also breath your atmosphere."

Tsunade turned to look at Shizune smugly. 'Ha, ha," her expression seemed to say. "Well lets go somewhere more comfortable to talk," Tsunade said leading the way back into the ship. Shizune hissed at her and she said "of course I didn't mean my bedroom!"

"I wouldn't put it past you," Shizune hissed back.

"Random crew member!" Tsunade yelled at an engineer at a control box down the corridor "escort our alien guest to the briefing room. We'll follow once we've changed."

"I am Captain Tsunade of the star ship Tonton, we are on a mission to seek out new life and the man in the photograph you have," Tsunade said impressively practicing the puffed out chest of star fleet captains everywhere.

"My name is Ino, I've been looking for others like the alien that landed on my planet," said the alien. Now that they could take a more detailed look it seemed like the alien was humanoid except for a small fleshy antenna, no more than two inches, that poke out from the top of her head.

"The alien as you call him," Tsunade said sensing if she didn't bring this up Temari would burst. "How is he?"

The alien became sad and her antenna drooped "Shikamaru was a friend of mine, he was a great life and i'm sorry to tell you that he no longer is shining."

Temari gasped "is he dead?"

"If that's what you call it," Ino said "he no longer functions. We buried him in the embrace of a star."

Temari closed her eyes tightly "how?"

"I am sorry," Ino said again "i feel grief at his passing. He died trying to save his family from slavers."

"Family?" Temari said sharply.

"As his best friend Tan, his child, passed to me but I don't know how humans work and grow. Shikamaru was the only one we met, so I can to find more," Ino said. "You are the girl that Shikamaru talked about, the one from his picture. Tan belongs to you now."

"I thought you said Shikamaru was the only human you knew, how could he have kids then?" Temari frowned.

"My race are born without sexual reproduction capabilities," Ino explained "only by getting in contact with other sexual beings do we morph and acquire theirs. Prolong exposure to Shikamaru made me morph so I now how the sexual reproductive capabilities of a human female. That is the other reason why I needed to find more humans since I am now one of you."

"Whoa! Time out!" Tsunade called "You and Shikamaru's child want to join my crew?"

"Yes," Ino shrugged.

"Captain," Shizune warned.

"Are you going to kill us in our sleep?" Tsunade asked.

"Captain!"

"No," Ino shrugged.

"Welcome aboard!" Tsunade smiled.

"CAPTAIN!"


	3. Chapter 3

"The captain just let her join like that?" Sakura said in shock.

"Yes," Temari growled.

"But what if she kills us? Or infects us or something?!" Sakura said outraged.

"I know!" Temari growled again.

"We don't even know if she's telling the truth."

"She's taking us to her home planet. Apparently they have some fierce creatures for my dad's coliseum," Temari said "that's plenty of time to see whether or not she intends to kill us all."

"What are you going to do about Shikamaru's child?" Sakura asked.

"I just don't know," Temari sighed.

"Chibi-doc!" Tsunade slapped her hand down on Sakura's shoulder and the younger woman winced. "Come on, there's an alien on bored and you get to do the first autopsy, er, I mean physical," Tsunade grinned.

"Oh joy," Sakura said giving Temari a worried look.

XxXx

"It's amazing," Sakura flipped through the results of the bio bed as Ino sat kicking her feet. "Her body is transforming from alien to human."

"I told your captain that," Ino said pleasantly.

Tsunade lent really close to Sakura to look over her shoulder at the results. Sakura blushed as she felt the captains chest brush against her back. She coughed and handed over the results. "So how long will the transformation take?"

Ino shrugged "among other humans the change will quicken. With only Shikamaru it was only my reproductive organs that changed. It's a survival thing."

Sakura gestured for Tsunade to join her outside the curtain. "Take a look at the alien cells," Sakura said guiding her over to a microscope. Tsunade looked at the cells then back to Sakura in puzzlement. Sakura widened her eyes and waited for Tsunade to see the connection.

"They're just blank cells like-!" Tsunade trailed off as the implications hit her. "Her entire body is made up of stem cells!"

"Exactly!" Sakura smiled then frowned "or nearly I'm not sure how different they are but I'm willing to go out on a limb and say they work under the same principle! Her alien body with its blank cells are transforming into specific human cells but for the time being she's a goldmine!" Sakura turned away and began to frantically think of the uses stem cells could be put to. "We still haven't been able to synthesize stem cells and can only get them from umbilical cords or embryos which made it a morally grey area, but if these aliens are full of the we could use them to replace organs, cure diseases –" Sakura blinked and something smacked her on the head hard.

Tsunade stood frowning at her and raised the medical chart again poised to strike Sakura once more. "Stop it," she glared her face odd in its gravity "that is a person, or at least a living emotion being and you're thinking of her in terms of-of a, seed!"

Sakura raised her eyebrow at the odd comparison "huh?"

"That alien will be a human woman, regardless of that she, it, is still deserving of basic rights. The right not to be experimented on is a big one," Tsunade said then shook her head "frankly I'm disappointed that you would even think of that Sakura."

"Captain," Sakura said softly hating the disappointed look in Tsunade's eyes.

"You let me down chibi-doc," Tsunade walked away sadly ruffling Sakura's hair in passing.

XxXx

"Don't be so hard on Sakura," Shizune said as she changed for bed. She shuddered as the coldness of the ball hit her naked chest. "You know where she's coming from, with her mum and now Naruto..."

"I get that," Tsunade said as she put on her tan leather cowboy waistcoat. "I do but i thought i taught her better than that," Tsunade sighed still heavy with disappointment.

"Well it seems your lessons need a little fine tuning that's all," Shizune said soothingly. She pulled the blanket off the bed and began to fold it up. "If i had found a way to save my uncle i would have did the same thing."

"No you wouldn't," Tsunade looked over her shoulder and smiled at Shizune gently "you're too much of a cry baby to do that to someone."

"I am not a cry baby," Shizune sniffed offended.

"Yeah, you are. Which reminds me," Tsunade said as she zipped up her leather trousers with mandatory tassels on the legs. "How come you're not whining about the alien?"

"Well, I've decided to trust your instinct," Shizune said as she stepped out of her underwear and crawled onto the double bed. "I mean, if you think she'll be a valuable crew member then i won't argue with your gut. Its got us through some crazy things before."

Tsunade smiled beautifully and her gaze was soft as she looked lovingly at Shizune "that really means a lot to hear you say that. Move more to the left, yeah, in the middle, perfect," Tsunade said as Shizune turned so she was on all fours in the middle of the bed. Tsunade positioned herself behind her on the bed.

"Hat," Shizune jerked her chin towards the bedside table.

"Oh yeah," Tsuande said grabbing the cowboy hat and putting it on at an angle. She stroked the length of Shizune's naked back and murmured "you have half of security stationed outside of the aliens room don't you?"

"...And their shuttle as well as computer surveillance," Shizune replied as she lifted her hips.

XxXx

Temari took a deep breath and dragged up a smile to present to the world. When she felt it was secure enough she walked through the doors into the cafeteria. She grabbed a bowl of cereal and sat at an empty table. She was unusually early today, Sakura was usually the first one to breakfast.

"Hi," Hinata moved to sit across from Temari. She placed an apple in front of her "it will be helpful for you to bite down on this instead of your feelings."

Temari blinked "I don't know what you're talking about."

"I heard about Shikamaru and his family," Hinata said seriously.

"I suspected that he would more than likely be dead," Temari said shoving the apple back towards the other woman.

"Yes but now you know," Hinata gently rolled the apple across the table.

"It's not that big a deal," Temari growled. She shoved the apple back.

"You were in love with him," Hinata stated pushing the apple back across the middle line of the table.

"Yes i was in love with him," Temari glared "_was_, past tense. He left to go on some stupid science quest, met an alien, knocked her up and died. I think that is enough reason not to love someone anymore."

"Temari," Hinata said sadly which only annoyed the blonde further.

"Oh, just shove it Hinata!" Temari snapped shoving away from the table.

"Whoa! Where are you going?" Sakura called as Temari stormed passed her. Not receiving an answer the doctor shook her head and sat down at the seat the blonde vacated.

"What's up her butt?" Sakura asked.

Hinata didn't say anything and Sakura gave up.

"SAKURA!"

The doctor jumped up first so that the blonde torpedo flew passed her and crashed into the wall. "Owie!" Naruto pouted rubbing the back of his neck and glaring up at Sakura light heartedly. "That is so unfair!"

"Deal with it," Sakura snorted and sat back down to her breakfast.

"Meanie!" He stuck his tongue out at the doctor as he sat beside her. "Tell her how much of a meanie she is Hinata!"

Hinata managed a smile for Naruto but wasn't interested in replying. "Oh, you got something on your mind?" Naruto reached across to take Hinattas hand in his own. "Tell me, I can make it all better!"

Hinata laughed involuntary "thank you Naruto, you care so much."

"I have a big heart," Naruto's smiled twisted until he was leering "which isn't my only big organ."

"Pervert," Sakura slapped him upside the head. A high pitched beeping cut across Naruto's reply and he rolled his eyes. He shut of the alarm on his watch and took out his pill box. He stole Sakura's juice and took three blue pills. "You should do that before you come out," Sakura frowned at the box.

Naruto shrugged "It doesn't bother me who knows."

"I just mean in case you lose any," Sakura said sternly.

"Which is why i have you, my own personal drug dealer," Naruto grinned. He kissed Sakura's tense cheek and bounded up from the table. "Got to go, can't be late for work or i'll miss showering with Kiba and the boys!"

XxXx

"So, what can you actually do?" Tsunade asked as Ino stood before the captains desk.

"On my home world i was a botanist," Ino said.

Tsunade shared a look with Shizune "do we need flowers?"

"No," Shizune said "the ship isn't big enough for a garden and we aren't going that deep into dead space to warrant transforming one of the cargo bays."

"That's out," Tsuande turned back to the alien "anything else?"

Ino looked a little annoyed that her skill was so easily dismissed but thought hard. "I'm a good fighter," she said at last.

"No," Shizune said curtly and Tsuande turned around peevishly. Shizune looked down at her captain "no, we're not putting her in a key security role. Tsuande don't even do it because I'm telling you not to. Just use your common sense for once!"

Tsuande glared steadily at her second in command. She was tempted to put Ino on security just to see Shizune's rage break the sound barrior but did concede that that would be too trusting. A light bulb switched on in her head and a devious grin came across her face.

"Tsuande..." Shizune said wearily knowing that expression too well.

"Oh, don't get your knickers in a twist," Tsunade rolled her eyes "it's not about you. I just was thinking how Sakura would need a hand in the medical office and botany is close to medicine, don't give me that look! It is! There's herbs and crap!"

"I have basic first aid training, although that is on my own people," Ino said happy to have a job.

"And the child?" Shizune went on to say putting aside Tsunades suggestion for now. "We're not equipped with a nursery. Who do you suggest looks after it?"

Tsunade frowned and became serious. Children always had a sobering effect on her. Shizune gazed at her searchingly. She had always wondered at Tsunade's decision to forego children. "You said that the child, Tan, passes onto Temari. What happens if she doesn't raise it?"

"He'll fall to me to raise," Ino said "but i don't think that would be best. His biology is different to mine. He expresses more human mannerisms than my own people."

"Well, we'll have to talk to Temari about this," Tsunade said "then we'll work around that."

XxXx

"Soooo," Tsunade deliberately dragged out as Temari sat stiffly in the chair in front of the captains desk. "You seem to have a kid now."

Temari looked up sullenly "it's not mine."

"He," Tsuande said.

"What?" Temari glared.

"It's, i mean the kid, it's a he," Tsunade said. She lowered her voice "listen i don't blame you, i don't think anyone would blame you for not taking him in."

Temari didn't answer. She stewed mentally too many emotions swirling in her brain. The door to the captains room whooshed open and Shizune stuck her head in, her eyebrows were raised in question. Tsunade gave a nod and Shizune disappeared before Ino and a small boy was ushered into the room.

"I've always been a fan of facing your problems head first," Tsunade said getting gracefully up from her desk. Temari was too focused on glaring at the captain to realise her plans. "So that's why I'm going to lock you in this room with little Tan. Bye!" Tsuande quickly fled grabbing Ino's hand and pulling her along.

"Hey!" Temari yelled thundering to her feet and rushing to the door. It closed in her face as Tsuande waved cheerily to her from the other side. "Computer open the fucking door!"

"There are no doors of that description currently in operation on the USS Tonton," the female computer replied politely.

"Open the captains door then!" Temari snapped trying her best to contain her anger.

"The captains door has been locked with a three hour time delay. There is a recorded message engaged in the algorithms if you would like to hear it?" The computer asked.

"Yes," Temari growled.

"Very well, Message 'bet you wished you had taken engineering classes instead of smartass classes, huh meathead?' End of message," The computer finished playing Tsunades recording.

"Bitch!" Temari smacked the door but achieved nothing more than hurting her hand. She turned slowly with compressed rage to the only other person in the room. The little boy looked at her and his antenna drew back in fear.

XxX

"Chibi-doc!" Sakura looked up from reading her book. She was just in from a long shift when her door whooshed open and Tsunade paraded into the room. "Huh?" She said startled.

"You've just got a new roommate!" Tsuande said pushing Ino in the door.

"No way!" Sakura said shoving up from her sofa. "Captain you can't be serious!"

"Hell yeah! Who better to tell her about her body than a doctor," Tsunade said as she waved in the tortured ensigns who had to carry Ino's things.

"There's only one bedroom!" Sakura protested.

"You've shared a room before," Tsunade dismissed the claim as another two ensigns struggled passed her carrying a bed. "Back room boys!"

"You can't do this! There's got to be something I can do! A law or something!" Sakura protested as she watched box after box invade her space.

"This is space chibi-doc," Tsunade grinned chillingly "I am the law."


	4. Chapter 4

XxXx

"So you're the alien," Naruto poked Ino inquisitively in the arm.

"Yes," Ino blinked then poked Naruto back just as fascinated. Naruto laughed loudly and clapped Ino on the back "I like you!" He declared sitting down beside her at breakfast.

Sakura glowered at him but he just ignored her. She lost interest in glaring at him too tired to keep up the level of irration needed to stay mad at the blonde. The doors to the breakfast hall whoosed open and her attention was grabbed by Temari storming in. Temari took one look at their table and saw Ino before stomping over to the corner to sit on her own.

"Ino, about Shika, why aren't you taking care of him?" Sakura asked "surely it would be better for him to be around someone he knows?"

Ino frowned "I feel deep regret that I cannot care for my friends child but he is a half breed. I have no idea how to look after his human side. On my planet he had to be isolated as he could not be allowed to play with the other children."

"Is he sick?" Sakura asked concerned.

"No but he has DNA that is different. My species reproduce by absorbing the DNA of other aliens and transforming to their species. Due to my closeness with Shikamaru I muted involuntary which put my in my current predicament. If the children on my home where to play with Tan he would make them transform well before their maturity. This is against many of our cultures and so he was kept away. Temari was who Shikamaru chose to look after him in case of his death." Ino said sadly.

"That's not fair," Sakura said.

"Yet it still is," Ino said.

"I have a few private exams to do this morning," Sakura said changing the subject "why don't you come by this afternoon and we'll start basic first aid?" She didn't wait for Ino's agreement before she left.

Ino sat and poked at her cereal for a moment longer before she became aware that Naruto was staring intently at her. "Yes?"

"You talk funny," Naruto said rudely.

Ino frowned "I'm speaking earthling."

"Yeah but it's way to, I don't know," Naruto swirled his hand around in the air trying to snatch out an adjective "proper! You speak to good!"

"And that is bad?" Ino asked confused.

"Yes," Naruto nodded "but don't worry, I'll fix that!" He grabbed her hand and pulled her out of the cafeteria.

XxXx

Sakura dragged herself into her quarters sluggish and annoyed. Ino had never turned up for her shift and it seemed like the ship was filled with hypochondriacs who thought they need the ships doctor at every sneeze. The doors to her quarters whoosed open and she was attacked by preppy pop music blaring loudly.

"What the hell?!" She yelled as Naruto and Ino pranced about the living room. She went over to the stereo and shut the music off.

"Aw," Naruto grumbled.

"Turn it back on!" Ino said eagerly "I'm grooving to the mix!"

Sakura frowned and stared at the alien strangely. It clicked in her head and she turned to glare savagely at Naruto "what did you do?!"

"I just helped her a little!" Naruto protested his innocence shuffling towards the door just in case. "She was talking funny and wanted to learn more about us anyway so-"

"You cut work in order to party with the alien?!" Sakura advanced on Naruto with fire in her eyes.

"Got to go!" Naruto ran out nearly falling in his eagerness to escape.

Sakura just sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. She was too tired to run after the little blonde monkey. The music blasted out abruptly as Ino went back to dancing. The happy throbbing beat seem to drill into her already sore head and she savagely turned the music off again. Ino stopped mid dance and turned to glare at her. She reached out slowly and deliberately intent on putting the music back on. Sakura slapped her hands and she jerked away in shock.

The aliens eyes narrowed and she lunged for the stereo. Sakura was in no mood to be disobeyed and moved to stop the blonde. They crashed into each other trying to stop the other from getting to the stereo.

"Get off me!" Sakura yelled.

"Let go of me!" Ino retorted kicking out with her leg.

Sakura sank her teeth deeply into the violent clave in a moment of petulance. Ino yelled and the struggle was taken up a notch. Ino punched the doctor widely and her fist smashed into the other womans forehead. Sakura reeled back and crashed into the stereo. A loud screeching warbled from the speakers and they both covered their ears in shock.

"What is that horrible noise?!" Ino yelled appalled at the torture inflicted on her ears.

"It's boy bands circa the 90s!" Sakura yelled back just as appalled.

"You win! You win!" Ino said desperately trying to block out the sound. "Just make it stop!"

Sakura was frantically trying to shut the stero off but found to her horror that she couldn't. "You broke it!" She spat annoyed.

"You where the one that was being a bitch!" Ino yelled and the curse sounded odd as she didn't fully know what it meant.

"Bitch?!" Sakura yelled indignant "oh that's it!" She lunched herself back at the alien. Ino had time to narrow her eyes before grabbing two chunks of pink hair.

"It's on like Donkey Kon!" She yelled Naruto's famous battle cry and tore at the doctor.

XxXx

Tsunade looked deathly serious as she stared fixedly at the bruised and battered pair. "Did my security staff really have to burst into your room and separate your death match brawl to the sound of N'sync's _Bye Bye Bye_?!"

Ino and Sakrua shifted quietly but couldn't look at the captain. Sakura's hair was sticking out in all directions and her uniform was ripped and hanging off her shoulder. Ino's own borrowed clothes where rumpled and torn with some small blood stains from her bloody lip. Sakura's eye was in the early stages of bruising and both had their fair share of welts and bumps.

"It was actually to _it's ganna be me," _Sakura said just to break the silence. She could feel the volcanic rage inside the captain roar as the older woman slammed her hands on the table and catapulted to her feet.

"Do you think I care?!" She yelled "I leave you alone together for less than a day and you nearly kill each other! Did you forget that you're full grown women!?"

"Actually I'm not fully grown..." Ino tried to defend herself but withered under the captains force 10 glare. She tried her best to shrink into herself.

"If I so much as catch you two giving each other a dirty look I'm going to through you out an airlock!" Tsunade raged. "No wages for you this week! Now get out of my sight!"

The two scampered away like children and didn't stop running until they were safely in the elevator. They lay panting against the wall.

"I'm sorry," Ino said as the silence dragged on.

"I'm sorry too," Sakura said feeling ashamed of her behaviour. She then looked at Ino and frowned "I'm especially sorry because you're wearing my shirt."

Ino shrugged helplessly.

XxXx

"The alien planet is about two weeks away," Temari said to Hinata.

"What do you plan on doing?" Hinata asked then reached across the table to where Tan was sitting silently beside Temari. She smiled at the little boy who kept casting nervous glances at the blonde. He smiled tentatively back at her.

"Get some stupid animals for my dads game and go back home," Temari said.

"You know what I meant," Hinata said.

Temari frowned and looked down at her little shadow. He ducked away and stared fixedly at his plate. She had decided that if everyone was going to push him on her she was going to take it. She had loved Shikamaru deeply and owed him that at least. She would take care of him until they got home where she could dump him in a private school that raised kids of rich families that didn't want them. He would have everything he ever wanted. The idea while great to her just didn't sound right when she told other people so she instead just shrugged.

"Why don't you come by my quarters after work?" Hinata talked to the boy directly. He seemed startled at being addressed. "Temari is such a boring grown up," Hinata scowled playfully at the blonde. "I bet she doesn't have any games to play?" The boy shook his head slightly and Hinata's smile widened "see? Bring him by after we get off and we'll have a play date."

"You need another kid for that," Temari rolled her eyes.

"So, I'll invite Naruto," Hinata grinned at the involuntary laugh Temari gave. She nodded and agreed to the plan. Excitement sparked in the blondes face as she quickly motioned for Hinata to turn around. Sakura and Ino had just entered the cafeteria and as one Hinata and Temari they sang "oh Mickey you're so fine, you're so fine, you blow my mind, hey Mickey!"

Sakura's face immediately flushed red as most of the cafeteria joined in. She balled her hands into fists "it was the N'sync!" She snapped before turning and storming off her wounded dignity left to drag itself after her.

XxXx

Tsunade was humming along to the tune in her head as she went over some paperwork. She looked up as Shizune started to laugh. "What?"

"That's an old tune," She grinned "I think my great grandmother listened to that."

"My mum loved old music," Tsunade confessed. "She would embarrass us all the time by singing it."

"I know what you mean. My mum liked this really obscure band from the dark ages," Shizune rolled her eyes as she went to sit down in front of the captains chair.

"Who where they?" Tsunade asked with a grin.

"Bewitched," Shizune rolled her eyes then became defensive at the horrified look on Tsunade's face "I said they where bad! Besides she only liked them because they where Irish."

"Yeah but the Irish can't sing," Tsunade stated.

"Yeah they can, look at Saint Bono," Shizune pointed out.

"Exactly," Tsunade said "you don't actually think he was good do you?"

Shizune glared "you're on the couch!"

"Oh come on!" Tsunade called after the retreating woman "I change my mind he was great! He didn't make me want to kill myself at all!"


End file.
